Thursday, April 3, 2008


Five years ago I celebrated Passover (Pesach) by myself as Joe was in the hospital recuperating from cancer surgery. I feel blessed that we have had these years together and that he recovered and did not have another recurrence of the cancer. We are still praying for world peace although it is hard to be optimistic at times. Passover this year starts at sunset Saturday, April 19th and we are looking forward to the singing, family time and food!

seder for one

so strange, a table set for one this year
candles, matzah, a seder plate but only one attending
poor Elijah will have to manage with grape juice
I see no point in drinking wine alone

I read some of the haggadah aloud
sing a few phrases and finish silently
I'm sure God understands
as my mind goes back and forth
between past and future
the present too difficult right now

Passover is about freedom, but what value is freedom
without my husband, soulmate and life partner
here to speak these words, chant these prayers with me
this night so different (but not in the traditional sense)

next year, not in Jerusalem as the prayer says,
but at home, together, family and friends
healed and at peace
for us and the rest of the world


copyright 2003 Linda H. Feinberg

Notes for those not familiar with Passover rituals:
seder = order, the traditional Passover meal
haggadah = the telling, the liturgy/prayers/story we read of the exodus from Egypt
dayenu = it would have been enough, repetitive phrase from one of the songs
ma nishtanah = "why is this night different from all other nights" -- the youngest child reads (usually sings) this prayer, the haggadah attempts to answer the questions in a roundabout way
at the end of the seder, an outside door is opened and the prophet Elijah invited in to drink from his own special wine cup and encouraged to bring the messiah to us


zoya gautam said...

like a cello,piano and a saxophone voicing a melody in d minor,softly, at night,when only the sleeping silence listens,your lines ripple through..

zoya gautam said...

ps>ma'm,i forgot to say hello..

Bruce said...

Wow, is that sorry to hear of your lonely Peach. i pray that will never happen again.

Linda H. Feinberg said...

Thank you, Bruce. Life is not a straight line. There are many twists and turns. I did have an invitation to go to a seder that year, but I couldn't cope with being with happy people. My emotions were too raw. Since I am basically an introvert, I felt better being alone at that time. This year we will have family & friends at our seder. I feel blessed that we have had these experiences together (both the good and the sad), and that we have these years together. Each day is a gift.