after the biopsy

inner peace and joy
my goal so elusive
a moment captured here or there
through nature or music

chanting in the shower or car
I feel calm and grateful
for this life
for this moment
for not having cancer

birds and chipmunks chattering
almost spring
hiking in Hooksett we find
the trail still frozen in places
muddy in others
ice starting to melt in the marshes
water running in small falls
a beautiful sound
energetic but calming
at the same time

I take digital photos and put one
on my computer as background
the frozen pond with multi-colored ice
brown wispy grass
beautiful granite boulders
and tall pine trees
God as artist in all seasons
another small moment of joy
revealed on a computer screen


copyright 2004 Linda H. Feinberg

The winter photo above was taken at Dube's Pond, Hooksett, New Hampshire. I recently sold about 20 cards with this scene.

While this poem was written four years ago, last week I had a breast biopsy again. This lump turned out to be fibro adenoma (a benign tumor). That's why I thought about this old poem.

We had a wonderful weekend retreat on Cape Code with a havurah. Lots of singing, workshops, prayers, ruach (Hebrew word for spirit. The English does not express it as well.) The snow was too deep to walk on the beach, but we walked down and enjoyed watching the seagulls and the water.

Happy Chanukah, Merry Christmas to all our readers. May you be blessed with a happy, healthy and joyous new year. Light a candle, say a prayer, and dispel the darkness...

Chapter Thirty-Three Fourth Week in August

Kamil Hussein and Hamid Akham are sitting in the conference room of the Iranian Secret Police building, tired and haggard from the long journey home. They both want to just drop off to sleep.

The phone in the room rings, jolting them out of their growing stupor. Hamid answers, "Jibril Atwan has asked me to inform you that he is on his way to the office. You are to continue to wait in the conference room," says a male voice. "He said you are to make yourselves comfortable."

Kamil asks himself, "How can anyone be comfortable sitting in any room in this building?"

Chapter Thirty-Two Reporting to Jibril

Jibril suddenly looks up and interrupts their confused thoughts, as if there had been no break in the conversation. "Overall, you did well on your first assignment," he tells them. "I have one of our people checking into how much usable nuclear material we can expect to find in one of their projectiles."

"If our people think it is possible to use that material, do you think he is capable of dismantling the projectiles as we asked?" asks Hamid.

"From what I am told, he will do anything for the right price," Jibril says sarcastically.

Ice Storm December 2008

Power is back on at our house. Unfortunately, many others are still waiting. The inside temp dropped to 52 degrees on Friday without heat and power. The downtown had power, so we ate out! Lots of restaurants open. Luckily, neither of us is seriously bothered by the cold, so we had our long johns on, double sweaters and were fine. Glad to get the electricity and heat back though. I don't know how people managed to read by candlelight. Maybe that Abe Lincoln/log cabin story is a myth.

Chapter Thirty-One NSA's Surprise

"John for some reason you look very perky this morning. What have you got up your sleeve?"

"Well sir, my regular report is the same old, same old, that you gave Allison. However, our people have been monitoring the suspected Israeli covert team and they have spent three to four days at the Bampur site. They are now moving, reversing their movements towards their original deployment position."

"Sounds like they want to get out of Dodge,"says the president. "I wonder what the hell they found out. When you see they are evacuated I want to be notified. Then Allison and I are going to have a little talk with their prime minister and the Mossad."

"Sir, you will know as soon as they are removed from shore," remarks John Walker.

Chapter Thirty Real Issue

Kamil decides to open the conversation. "Dimitri, have you found the special rods our client is looking for?"

"Yes and no."

"What do you mean by yes and no?"

"We have found a supply of spent rods that are still located in a reactor that is not functioning. To get them out would take many skilled people and would certainly draw a lot of attention.

"We have located some projectiles that are, shall we say, unaccounted for; they should be able to serve whatever purpose you need the rods for."

Hamid goes on to say, "We are not looking to ship projectiles. We are interested in purchasing those gear box housings to move nuclear materials you said you found. The projectiles are useless to our client."

Dimitri then says, "You will have to reprocess the rods; the materials inside of the projectiles should be usable without remanufacturing them."

Kamil replies, "We will advise our client of your dilemma. We will also tell them of your suggestion. I would suggest that you find a way of removing the materials in question if we are to reach an agreement."